The Best Ever Book of Portuguese Jokes: Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who

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Why was Portugal the best colonial power? Spain had thousands of colonists, Britain had millions, but Portugal had BRAZILIANS. Oliveira and Santos asked an environmentalist friend who volunteered for GLAN to speak with their children. The friend then introduced them to four young Portuguese who lived in central Portugal near the forest of Leiria, which went up in flames during the 2017 heatwave. Even though they abolished slavery in all of the empire in 1869, they maintained the practice of “indigenous contract laborers”, who were in all except name slaves, until the end of the dictatorship.

Pá is a commonly used slang word. It’s usually put on the end of a sentence to mean man. It’s easy to remember because it sounds like pal, which in some English-speaking countries is added onto the end of a sentence. Ok, I am happy to say this one does not involve any bad words. It is a common word pun, involving a proverb.

23. God gives nuts to those who don’t have teeth

Portugal people are really simple and practical. When you hear “bread bread, cheese cheese” you are probably mixing up something that shouldn’t be mixed orconfused. This phrase means to communicate to you that “it’s this simple, as bread is bread and cheese is cheese”. Der Richter zum Angeklagten: “Sie sind beschuldigt, Ihren Nachbarn unter Schimpfworten in den Wald getrieben und dort ganz fürchterlich verprügelt zu haben. Sind Sie da nicht ein bisschen zu weit gegangen, Angeklagter?” Antwort: “Ja, das stimmt, Herr Richter! Ich hätte es schon vorher auf der Wiese tun sollen!” 6. Papa needs his medicine

Procurar pelo em ovo, or “to look for hair on an egg”, has roughly the same usage. 3. Nem que a vaca tussa Why do Portuguese birds make terrible comedians? Because they always “cheep” out on the punchlines! Elbow pain”, the literal translation of dor de cotovelo, may sound pointless. It’s used to describe that lingering sinking heart feeling you get over unrequited love or a dramatic breakup. An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are planning a party. “I’ll bring six pints of bitter,” says the Englishman. “I’ll bring six pints of Guinness,” says the Irishman. “I’ll bring six friends,” says the Scot.One of those young people, Catarina Mota, now 21, remembers looking up at the sky and seeing only smoke. The fires killed 66 people. There is a deeper point. Ultimately, Seignovert said, laughing at our neighbours is “recognising, even celebrating, our particularities. It shows we’re not indifferent. Europe isn’t just political and economic, it’s also cultural – about all these nations, living together. The EU hasn’t made enough of that.”

Der Deutschlehrer fragt Bini: “Was ist das für ein Fall, wenn du sagst: Das Lernen macht mir Freude?” Bini überlegt nicht lange: “Ein seltener, Herr Lehrer.” 4. Husbands hate shopping in every language, apparently While the origin of this phrase is controversial, some folks argue it references the very real physical pain you’ll feel on your elbows after a night spent drowning your sorrows at the bar. 17. Botar a boca no trombone Can you picture somebody squeezing themself into the piping? That sounds painful to the very least! So I guess entrar pelo cano is illustrative and straightforward: it means “to get screwed”. 26. Engolir um palhaço What do you call a person from Portugal that hangs out in a pub with a pint in his hand on a match day?

A mosquito is named a mosquito in Portuguese too. Yet to account for the ferocity and huge dimensions of the specimens you’ll be introduced to in the tropics, natives came up with a fitting term: pernilongo, or “long-leg”.